2 posts tagged “career”

Haven't posted in a while, mostly because was putting all of my effort in preventing this last depressive episode from becoming an all out major episode.  Thank God for good girlfriends.  They can be a life saver.

I met again with the career counselor, and it's been going really well.  Just brainstorming about different ways of learning about some business areas I'm curious about.  I seem to be leaning a lot towards marketing and advertising, so I'm going to be talking to some of the local business owners to see if I can do some work for them for the experience.  I think part of being a criminal defense attorney is honing the ability to spin - I am really an expert at making a very bad situation look good.  So I think I'd be even better at making something that is already good even more appealing.  I'm also still throwing around the idea of fundraising and development, which is something that my law degree would actually be advantageous. 

I won another appeal last week.  It's so ironic that I absolutely hate this profession when I seem to be fairly successful at it.  The funny part about the win is that the defendant was serving a sentence for this case (that I won) and didn't return to the prison from work release so he picked up an escape charge for which he's serving 11 1/2 - 23 months.  Dummy.  If he hadn't walked away he'd be home right now.

This weekend has been good so far.  Friday night met up with an old flame for drinks.  We had a nice time together - he's met someone and it was nice to see him so happy.  And very relieving that I didn't end up with him.  We were so mismatched.  Hard to believe that I ever shed a tear over him...

Another thing I did for myself this weekend was signing up to audition for one of the city's performance choirs.  My audition will be in january, and I've already decided I'll do one of the Chichester Psalms.  I'm really looking forward to it...

I am feeling so down today.  I think it's 50% starting to miss Mr. Wonderful again (the friendship part) and 50% wanting a new career but not knowing what I want to do. 

I am so tired of being a lawyer.  It kills me to get up every morning and go to work.  And I'm just suffering throughout the entire day.  I'm tired of hearing about crack, guns, people killing each other, prisons, prison guards, court staff, stenographers, pyschiatrists, plea agreements, parole hearings, drug addicts, the mentally ill, the homeless, people molesting and raping. a Superior Court made up of morons and assholes, people who have lots of kids and don't support them, and the massive poverty I have to witness.  I can't take it anymore.  I don't want to see it anymore.  I want to go to an office that is nice and clean, that maybe makes a product or something that has absolutely no impact on society, that doesn't exist to "save" someone or to "help" someone.  I'm tired of arguing, fighting, negotiating.  I'm tired of judges, district attorneys, cops, clients, and other lawyers.  I don't enjoy this anymore.

So what would I enjoy doing?

I have no idea.  Other than acting, I have absolutely no clue.  My entire career and education has been based on mental health/psychology and criminal law.  Nothing else.  No business classes.  I know nothing about advertising, marketing, no experience in sales.  Even worse, I feel completely unmotivated to do anything.  I hate my student loans.  If I didn't have them I could just go and be starving artist waiting tables and auditioning. Maybe I should seek out a career coach or counselor or something.  But that would cost money, which I don't have.

What I don't want:
1.  Any corporate law or business law anything that would lead me to a big firm
2.  Social work
3.  Teaching
4.  Really anything to do with the legal system

What I'm good at:
1.  public speaking, presenting
2.  creativity
3.  writing
4.  dealing with people (although I'm really sick of dealing with people)
5.  teaching and explaining things, making complicated things less complicated
6.  seeing the big picture
7.  convincing people of things when I believe in what I'm advocating

What I'm NOT good at:
1.  numbers/math
2.  details
3.  organization (unless I really love what I'm doing, like I'm very organized with my acting and show preparation)
4.  sitting for long periods of time
5.  science
6.  bullshitting

Any ideas on what I would be good at?